Great piece. I met my partner of almost 4 years on a dating app, but I'm pretty sure I'm one of the lucky ones. I will say, though, that dating apps are a bit of a lifeline for queer people like me. It's hard to find other queer people IRL and figure out if they're queer, so dating apps can be a useful tool for us.

As for quitting dating apps because they're toxic to embrace single life and meeting others IRL: I see what you're saying here but thinking back to my single days, it would be very difficult for me to just give up the apps. I was a very socially-awkward, super-inexperienced, everything-virgin when I first started using dating apps, so apps felt like the lowest-barrier way for me to get started with dating. Perhaps not the safest, best, or healthiest option, but I seriously had no luck IRL even though I was in university at the time and young, single, horny people were everywhere!

Personally, I think we should focus our efforts on dispelling the belief that finding romance is the be-all, end-all of human life. I think it's the desperation to be not-single that seeds abusive behaviour on these apps. People who feel they can't get a date get frustrated, aggressive, and abusive. I haunt r/NiceGuys all the time and see guys who think they're the victim for being rejected because they've been indoctrinated with this belief that being a single guy is a shameful, un-masculine thing.

So I agree with you: it's time we make that mental leap and realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Embrace singledom! Hell, it was only after I embraced my single-ness that I finally found a partner...

Thanks for writing. I love your voice and your attitude!