It's not easy to navigate, for sure. I once casually dated a guy who admitted he found Asian women especially attractive. I asked him to explain why, and he described some aesthetics common in Asian women that he just preferred. I didn't think of him as having a racist fetish, though, because he was respectful of me, took the time to get to know me, and obviously saw me as a person with her own unique personality and desires.

I think it's sorta like catcalling. Some men struggle to see the problem with catcalling because isn't it a compliment? But it isn't because there is a dimension of objectification there.

Here's what I would tell someone who likes the Asian aesthetic: 1) take the time to know the person you like, and 2) compliment them on a choice (ie. hairstyle, fashion choice, shoes) and not a physical feature. #2 goes for any woman, really.

I hope that clarifies things a little better.